It’s funny how your brain changes so much when you have a baby. Prior to baby, I was a complete workaholic. I regularly worked 7 days a week. I often hosted weekend parties at my place – beer in one hand, laptop with spreadsheet open in the other. I used to dream about meetings and deadlines and agendas. I used to shop at Banana Republic exclusively and buy things that were dry clean only. I was also a globe-trotter. In the last 2 years I have been to London at least four times, Sweden twice, Holland at least twice, France once and India, in addition to around the US for family visits and such.
The day before my 2 magical pink lines showed up, I was home alone for the evening, and decided to down a few Peronis while trying to weed whack the front yard. (Mrs. Creative, indeed.) The next day, 6:59am, POOF! I made some changes pretty quickly and others over time and even more in the last 6 months since she has been born. One of the things that I like the most is the way that I feel calmer about things. When something doesn’t go exactly as I plan or changes abruptly or whatever, I am pretty even keeled about it. It’s just ok. It’s not a big deal. In the old days, smoke would come out of my ears and I would fixate on problems until they were solved precisely to my liking. One of the things I do not like is the fact that my giant ta-tas prevent me from wearing a few shirts that I really liked. I love having a low stress job. I love coming home everyday. I love waking up 45 minutes early to feed my baby before I get up to get ready for work during the week. I love watching videos of my baby playing and having a good time during the day. I love watching her do new things and teaching her new tricks. (We are working on waving “Hi” right now.) I love weekends and I love family time. I love watching her love on her daddy. Things that used to matter, don’t matter at all. And things that do matter, I didn’t even know existed until now.
What do I love right in this moment right now? I love the fact that my tiny human just fell asleep next to me and decided to make me the footrest for her tiny foot. I love that foot. I am a footrest. A damn good footrest.